


Noctis; self-consciousness due to years of paparazzi

by Yandere_Shoujo



Series: FFXV Dreamwidth Prompts [6]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, Poor Noctis, mature themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 23:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10649988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yandere_Shoujo/pseuds/Yandere_Shoujo
Summary: Crown Prince Noctis starts to recieve all kinds of extra, unwanted attention upon the coming of his eighteenth birthday. And he does not appreciate how the focus seems to stay on his genitals. Abridged title for the sake of length.





	Noctis; self-consciousness due to years of paparazzi

**Author's Note:**

> I like slice of life challenges.

**_“How big is Prince Noctis’ pecker?”_ **

Noctis’ face was blank as he looked down at his phone. It was clickbait advertising, that’s all.

Click bait.

Nothing to get worked up about. Nothing to pay mind to. Nope. He wouldn’t let it bother him.

Noctis tapped the screen for the article and got pictures of tempura shrimp, pickles, mushrooms and a ruler with a depressing size marked in red.

Prompto looked over from his photo spot when his friend groaned. After brushing dirt from his uniform pants, he rounded behind the other to look at his phone screen. The title hovered clearly above the top of the page.

“Dude, why are you looking at that?”

“Because it was _there_.”

All throughout the week there had been a disturbing rise of magazines online and off about the prince since he turned eighteen. He was fair game now.

First it was drugs.

**_“His Highness does meth?”_ **

Noctis did not partake in any drugs aside from an aspirin. The shot of him was ambiguous at best, needle in his arm, and looked to be from the open window of the nurse’s office at the school. Noctis had panicked when seeing the shot of him at first, but his trusted advisor assured him only a fool would fall for such a ruse.

It was unfortunate that the common masses had so many fools.

**_“Crown Prince and His Harem!?!”_ **

Another ambiguous picture taken the absolute wrong way.

It was windy, and Noctis had shielded his face from anything that might fly in his eye. The attendant to his left’s skirt was blown back, making the cloth look incredibly tighter than it was, and the guard to his right had a hand on his shoulder, moving to shield him from the stray leaves.

 Noctis was not smiling at the time, but his cringe could be interpreted as such and the attendants face was shot at a moment of looking as though she had a lewd expression.

Even Prompto whistled at the precise camera work. The scandal was relevant for an entire week until the man and woman in the photo released a full story and account of that day and how they were indeed, not having sexual relations with his Highness.

The prince could never catch the photographers in the act either. It was like they were everywhere all the time and just out of sight, taking often blurry pictures of him doing mundane things like brushing hair from his eyes or adjusting his tie and twisted them.

When the allegations reached below the belt, Noctis was really getting upset.

Several days later, the topic was still raging and Noctis thought he was going to die when seeing a picture of him in swimming trunks at the school’s pool. The shot was taken from outside of the window given that it was indoors, and he was ready to quit Physical Ed then and there. He had just gotten out of the water, and his shorts clung to his body. The lighting and angle was just right to show off his form in its entirety.

Right next to the picture, was an image of a sausage, comical sad face drawn on top.

Dinner that night was awkward.

Prompto, seeing Noctis so livid- hadn’t left his side and he slowly chewed the delicious pasta prepared by Ignis. The cook himself took occasional glances to Noctis in between bites but the other remained silent.

Several hard knocks startled Prompto and he yelped, turning to see Gladio walk in and pocket his key. The mood wasn’t hard to read and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Ya know, setting a magazine on fire doesn’t really help your public image at all.”

Noctis turned in his seat as Gladio set down a newspaper with the cover being Noctis holding the magazine over a public trash can, and watching it burn.

“Not like there’s a damn thing I can do about it. Apparently I can’t even have P.E. without some media drone taking shots of my crotch!”

“Noct-”

Prompto was cut off.

“No! Dammit, what the hell is wrong with people? I can’t make eye contact with someone without us being friends with benefits! I can’t drink without being an alcoholic, and apparently  powdered doughnuts are the new cocaine!”

“I assure you that such foolishness is derived from incredibly bored people.” Ignis temporarily gave up on eating. The mood was too stifling. “You have been out of the public eye for some time, perhaps you’re just sorely missed.”

“Yeah! I mean, you have been a bit of a recluse for a while!” Prompto added.

“Oh yeah? So why is it that my sex life is the highlight of every. Little. Thing?”

Gladio took a seat on an armrest facing the others. “Sex is interesting to talk about.”

Groaning, Noctis smothered his face with a flat palm and spoke from underneath it. “Mine isn’t that small dammit…”

“If I may be so bold, and if it is any comfort, there is nothing wrong with being just at average. Your body is of royal blood, surely anyone would be honored to receive from you.”

Ignis’ awkward consolation earned a snort from Gladio.

“He’s right! I mean, I-I think I’m average sized too. And I’m not ashamed or anything! Like, who’s really slinging some 10 inch python around. That’d be uncomfortable, right?”

Gladio stifled another snort and chimed in.

“Well, learn how to use your hands or something. That usually shuts them up.”

Noctis was still cringing.

“Yeah, thanks guys.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't exactly what the requester asked for, but... meh.


End file.
